"Your essay has a nice structure and flow and presents your argument in a really coherent way.
I get the impression that this essay, rather than a critical comparison, is edging more towards a critique of the idea of objectivity in graphic design? Which, actually, i think is much more exciting. In this way, perhaps you can open out this debate to include some postmodernist ideas about objectivity in general. Since postmodern philosophy would tend to condemn any idea of a universal objective truth of any sort.
There are some sketchy sources here though. Wikipedia shouldnt used and don't overly rely on journalistic articles. Rather than building your discussions around single articles use multiple ones - so, for Brockmann use the eye article but also his grid systems book and any other texts you can find by or about him."
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